Fear will always be a part of a person’s life. It could turn into a weakness that could hinder anyone in everything that he wants to do. Thus, the choice lies in the person’s hands whether he would be afraid in his whole life or he can choose to face his fears and turn his weakness into strength. And along with this idea, the story of Gina Viloria comes to life.

Manang Gina is a beneficiary of Pantawid Pamilyang Pilipino Program from Buguey, Cagayan. Because she was not able to finish her studies, she has many apprehensions in life. “I never had the courage to speak for myself,” said.

“I don’t have the ability to stand up for myself. How could I? I’m poor and I didn’t finish college. All these things make me weak, especially that I, too, have succumbed to the cruelty of domestic violence,” she continued.

Gina and her husband have been together for almost a decade. But those ten years were not all hugs and kisses for the couple. Unfortunately, Gina experienced all types of abuses from the own hands of her husband- physical abuse, emotional abuse and sexual abuse.

But she kept her lips sealed and continued living with her husband despite the pains and the tears. Gina endured the situation for the sake of her children, and their future. She was blinded with the belief that it was only her husband who can provide for the family’s needs, that as a woman, and as a housewife, she can’t do anything to bring food to the table.

“My husband is loving and responsible, but that changes when he is already under the influence of liquor. Drunk, he begins to make my life gloomy and miserable,” Gina shared.  “I wanted to run away from him, to fight back, but I can’t. I just can’t. I’m scared,” she added.

Yet, a big change entered Gina’s life that made her strong and stand in her feet. That’s when she became a beneficiary of Pantawid Pamilya.

“Through the Family Development Sessions, I learned about the rights bestowed to men and women. I understood what gender equality and equity means. I learned my rights and that there are laws which protect me as a woman. Through the FDS, I began recognizing my potentials and realized that I can do something for my family, for myself, for my children,” she stated.

Now, her belief has changed. Gina now knows that a woman can also stand up for herself. She developed the courage to defend herself. She became strong enough to report her case to the Municipal Social Welfare Development Office, and there she found out that there are people who are ready to help her.

Gina now believes that a woman can do anything that a man does, that a woman or a wife, a mother, can also roll up her sleeves and provide for her family. She believes that she can perform even the role of her husband, and she can do it better.

Presently, Gina works as a farm laborer. Aside from this, she also juggles her schedule as a laundrywoman and as a junk collector, she goes house to house to collect and buy bottles for selling to junkshops.  Tiring as it may seem, but she manages to perform these jobs to make both ends meet for her family, and not solely depend on her husband.

Gina still lives with her husband, but now, it’s a totally different situation. No more pains. No more tears. She does not allow herself to fall prey under her husband’s rage because she already knows where to go. And she possesses the courage to fight for herself.

It took painful years, countless sacrifices and oceans of tears before Gina finally stepped out from the dark and danger zone. She took thousands different steps for her to become fearless and fight for what is right and appropriate.

“I was able to understand that great change will always start at me; I chose not be silent anymore and not be afraid anymore because of my weaknesses. My children are my source of strength and will forever be my motivation to continue to my fight against violations or abuses. I do not want my children witness and experience this agonizing situation. I do not want to waste or compromise their talents, their intelligence just because I choose to be fearful and quiet,” Gina uttered.

Now, her life is very much different from what has been. She’s happier. What inspires her more to always be a better version of herself is that her children are performing well in their school.  Her two daughters, who are in Grade III and Grade V, are reaping grades of flying colors and are constant  honor students in their classes.

“I owe these changes in my life to Pantawid Pamilyang Pilipino Program. I am now able to perform my task as a caring mother to my children. I was able to provide sufficient time for them. I was able to provide their needs especially in their school.  I learned not to depend too much to my husband and to what he can provide to us and most of all, I was able to understand my rights as a human and as a woman,” Gina concluded.

There are things in life that we choose not to fight because we are so much afraid of its effects, to us and to other people, even if our freedom, our peace and rights as human are being compromised. However, we can never lock ourselves from our fears, from all our weaknesses. We have to fight and learn how to fight for our rights not because we want to win but because we have to win, for our love ones and for their safer and peaceful tomorrow. ### MAC PAUL V. ALARIAO, PDO II- Gender and Development